A good way to market your product is to give it a name that’s two words, but the last letter of the first word is the same as the first letter of the last word. Then you mash them together to form one long superword that’s the name of your product.

For example, suppose you invented a new toy for sad women, and it’s basically a fancy vibrator. Congratulations, that’s the Vaginantidepressant! Or let’s say it’s a great new way to serve your dog eggs – the Fidomellette. The exception is when you start breeding miniature pack animals. There, you don’t drop any letters – they stay as Smallllamas.

  • Want to grow cruciferae in the cold harsh winter? Build a Broccoligloo.
  • the redundant Backnapsack
  • the slimy, bouncy Kangarooze
  • the Talkingorilla
  • a cute little knife for when you can’t stand the sight of one more carnation – the Floristabber
  • too many cetacean pests in your ocean? get the Whaleliminator.
  • want to make bad choices while tripping? get some AlcohoLSD. where? grow it in the Drugarden.
  • miss the League Of Nations, much? Good old Woodrowilson
  • and when the current President wants fish? Obamackerel.
  • No more! Thistupid topican notake uprecious timeven ifriends wanto keepestering yountil yourectum explodestunningly.


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